How to Manage Your Time
> I’ve often complained that people think the most plentiful resource on the planet is your time. Not their time, your time. People are more than happy to spend your time on the strangest things. Take it from a guy who was once paid to scrape the breading off of the leftover fish filets at night, then re-bread the fish the next morning.
How to Get Someone to Take One for the Team
Nailed it: “There’s no I in team” says the guy saying someone needs to take one for the team.
How to Explain What Words Mean
> It pains me to admit it, but this one even confuses me.
How to Reassure Someone
> You’re asking me if something I didn’t see looks like something you’ve never seen.
> It’s a simple yes or no question.
Also: red light cameras.
How to Share Your Knowledge
> The Pepper’s Ghost illusion was originally used by charlatans to make people think they were looking at the dead, brought back as ghosts, which don’t exist. Now charlatans use the Pepper’s Ghost illusion to make people think they’re looking at the dead, brought back as 3D holographic projections, WHICH ALSO DON’T EXIST!
How to Understand Someone's Seemingly Irrational Behavior
> That’s Jenkins’ curse. He only deals with people who are, at that moment, dealing with Jenkins.
How to Face the End of Civilization . . . Again
> Civilized people love predicting the end of civilization as we know it.
How to Maintain a Low Profile
> I think it’s perfectly obvious that I am skulking!
How to Accept Responsibility
> I’m sorry that his lack of consideration made my actions necessary.
How to Overlook Flaws
> In case you’re wondering, no, the existence of Sybok has not been mentioned on Discovery. It’s almost as if they want us to forget Star Trek 5 happened.
How to Assert Your Intellectual Superiority
> I did, in fact, go to radio broadcasting school.
How to Wish Your Friend a Happy 50th Birthday
> In many ways, I feel like my twenty-something brain has been transplanted into the body of one of my crusty old uncles.
How to Help Someone Confront their Prejudices
It’s true, but you can’t make me admit it.
How to Cover for Your Own Ignorance
When in doubt, become offended.
How to Play Video Games "Together"
I grew up playing Doom with a driver and a gunner. Fun times.
How to Properly Use a Factoid
I really liked this one. Lots of factoids!
Plus this gem: “Actually, it’s only a factoid while it’s still in space. Once it hits the ground it’s a factite.”
How to Use Technology to Perform a Repetitive Task
Just think of all the time that you could have saved... by not using technology.